The anger and resentment I experienced due to a career I couldn't get off the ground, inspired a creative manifestation that brought with it some of the things I had been seeking all my life, recognition and praise. However I still hadn't addressed my state of consciousness in any real way so there was only exterior gratification. There was no real meaning because I was still trying to prove something to the world and to myself. Chasing an idea of what I thought success was and consumed in self-obsession. I was creating through a suffering state and that comes with a cost.