Examining my shadow has been the most rewarding work I've ever done. Bringing all the dark aspects of myself into the light requires a lot of trust. It requires me to be non-judgemental of myself. I can't heal what I'm judging. There's tremendous freedom in that. Freedom to share my story without apology and freedom from the fear of telling it. In this chapter, my paranoia surrounding my HIV hits new heights. Still reaching for the white ideal I go under the knife. 9/11 brings a career highlight to an early end and after a slew of auditions and rejection I learn to pivot. An unexpected opportunity brings harsh realities.